That's What She Said- Creative writing

Saturday afternoon, Iris and Andrew sat in the waiting room of the court mandated couples therapist Doctor Laura Fluent.

“I don’t why I have to be here? You’re the one who wants the divorce” Andrew pointed out, Iris rolled her eyes

“If you would’ve just signed the papers we wouldn’t have to be here, now would we?”

“Well forgive me for trying to save our marriage” he said sarcastically.  Just then the gray haired women in the front called there names.

“Come on let’s get this over with” Iris moaned, they stood from the foamed filled chairs. Andrew pushed impatiently through the open door, he walked over to the two person couch and he plopped down on it, slowly sinking into its old leather. Iris walked in slowly and rather irritated that she had to be here. She sat next to her husband, both looking at the opposite walls, like little five year olds on a time out.  Across from them sat a woman dressed in an old black blazer that looked as if it were washed with bleach. The women introduced her self

“Welcome mister and misses Crisp, I am Doctor Fluent” she looked down at the clip board in her hands “I’ve been informed that you two have been having some relationship problem” She looked up at them, and waited for a response.

“Yes” Iris answered honestly “yes we have,” the women nodded her head, leaning forward on her clip board,

“Okay then, before we begin I must inform you, how your sessions are going to be conducted.” She paused for a moment

“Here is how it works, I’ll ask one of you to tell me what the issue is, and then I will ask the other to tell me their side of it. Understand?”  Iris nodded, Andrew groaned

“I don’t have time for this” he mumbled under his breath. Iris heard him and she jabbed her boney elbow into his arm.

“Ow!” he said, but it didn’t hurt him at all. Iris glared into his eyes, and although she didn’t say anything, he knew she was telling him to shut up. Then she turned back to the women and gave her the innocent smile she always faked.  With a pen in her hand, the woman began to write on her clip board, shaking her head as she scribbled.

“What is she writing?” Iris whispered, but Andrew ignored her. The room was silent; Iris sat wondering what she was writing down, while Andrew tried to force himself to sleep. The women ceased the writing; she looked up, breaking the silence,

So Misses Crisp” the women began, Andrew jolting from the sudden noise. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and pretending to yawn, both women starring at him, one with a look of embarrassment, while the other looked back to Iris. She began,

“Misses Crisp”

“Please, call me Iris” she interrupted, Iris smiled

“Iris” the women repeated “Tell me why you think you’re here?”  Iris straightened her posture,

“Well” she started “you see, I want to divorce my husband, bout he wouldn’t sign the papers. So I went to the judge to see if he could force Andrew to sign them” The women’s hands raced across the clip board, recording every word Iris said.

“And what did the judge say?” she asked, her arm glued to the board,

“Nothing, he did nothing. And what’s more, he laughed at me.” She turned to her husband, pulling his arm closer to her “but Andrew hated it when people laughed at me, so he jumped out of his chair and punched the judge right across the face, knocking him to the ground” Andrew stood over Iris

“I did no such thing. I didn’t hit the judge, I punched your idiot lawyer, you lying, conniving, son of a…”

“Mister Crisp!” the women shouted
“You see, you see what I have to put up with!” Iris interjected,

“Silence both of you, I will not tolerate such behavior in my office, is that clear?”

Iris nodded her head. Andrew sunk back into the couch, his hand coving his muffled curse.  Iris looked at her husband, the back to the women who was smiling at her, she thought

“This is great, she’d on my side.” The women regaining her thoughts asked Iris why she wants to divorce her husband. Iris feeling very proud sat up a little straighter,

“It all started a few months ago I had a since that something wasn’t quite right”
“and what was that?” the women asked, Iris continued

“Well there was this woman…”

“Oh great, now you got her going, thanks a lot doc.” Andrew interrupted

“Mister Crisp, please,” the women said, silencing Andrew,

“Go on” she urged Iris

“Thank you” Iris spoke softly,

“Well like I said there was this woman, Heather. She lived a few blocks from our house, she was homeless you see. “She paused to take a breath,

“One day I came home early from my Pilates class, and I found that girl waiting on our front porch” she stop to watch the women writing down everything she said,

“I see” the women agreed. Iris continued
“I walked up to her and I asked her what she wanted.” The women quite writing and looked up at Iris

“And what did she want?” she asked, Iris took a deep breath, and then she shot her husband a judgmental glance, that she perfected.

“She said she came to see Andrew, my husband, here. I told her that he was still at work, and to come by later. So she nodded her head and started to leave, but before turning out our drive way she walked back to me. She handed me an envelope and said “make sure he gets this” then she just left.”  Iris stopped; she waited for the women to finished scribbling all over the paper. The women leaned back in her chair, 

“And what made you think that something was wrong?” she asked her

“She was pregnant” Iris said forcefully, the women’s face was still.  Andrew looked at his wife, with her eyes burning the very depts. of his soul.  The women asked

“Care to explain, Mister Crisp?” Andrew was dumbfounded, but the words still came,

“Yes I knew the girl” he said not realizing what he had just said,

“I knew it, you sneaky, low life, son of a bi…”

“Misses Crisp, let him finish” she shouted to Iris. Andrew regaining his composure, he cleared his throat

“Yes I knew the women, but it’s not what you think. She was homeless, so I helped her find a job. And then I found out someone had attacked and raped her. So when she told me she was pregnant, I told her I would help, in anyway possible.”

He stopped and turned to his wife; her eyes widen with shock and confusion. The sound of a pen running filled the dead silence of the room.

“What?” Iris questioned, breaking the quiet.

“That’s why she came to our house, to ask me for help. Did you honestly think I would risk our marriage on a homeless teenage girl?” he asked. Iris didn’t respond, but the women did. 

“Thank God it’s four o’clock.” She cried out, looking at her watch. She looked up at Iris and Andrew who were surprised to hear here say this.

“Sorry,” she began, she returned to her business like self

“Well I think we have accomplished something great here today. But I’m afraid that your time is up, and I have other patients to council.”  The women stood from her chair, Andrew and Iris copied.

“Same time next week?” she asked, shaking their hands. Andrew looked down at his smiling wife, with a peacefulness surrounding her, something he hadn’t seen in a while. He answered the women, saying

“Yes, will be back.” Iris nodded; they began to walk out the door. Iris looked back at the women

“Sorry, about this misunderstanding” but the women just replied

“Don’t worry this kind of thing happens all the time” she smiled and waved good-bye. She continued to wave and smile until they exited the building. When she was sure that they were gone, she called to the gray haired women

“Nancy, do we still have that scotch from the Christmas party?” the women yelled back,

“Yep”

“Good, next time that couple has an appointment, make sure you give me that scotch. Those people are nuts.”